A snowmobile was pulling up outside the Fortress gates. Clark sighed. Apparently putting the place in the middle of a snow field in Canada wasn't enough to ensure privacy. At least where some people were concerned.
Lex climbed off. "Nice little place you have here."
"What do you want?"
"Do I have to have a reason to visit?"
Clark went inside and locked the door. Lex would find a way in eventually, but maybe he'd get bored first and leave. He really wasn't in the mood.
Five minutes later, there was a gaping hole in the side of the building, Lex was inside, and Clark was in an even worse mood.
"You're grouchy today," Lex said. "Put me down." He poked Clark in the stomach with a funny-looking gun that faintly radiated kryptonite energy.
Clark ground his teeth but let him go. "You blew up my wall!"
Lex shrugged. "You shouldn't have locked me out."
"You weren't invited."
"But I knew that was just an oversight." Lex looked around. "Nice. The spartan look. Hey, is that Kandor?"
"Tell me what you want or get out. Or I'll take you in for trespassing."
"You can't." Lex handed him a piece of paper.
Clark read it and frowned. Apparently, Lex now owned the land the Fortress of Solitude was on.
"I'll move it," Clark said coldly, handing back the property deed.
"Not unless you want to be arrested."
"You're a squatter," Lex said. "I get to inspect anything you want to remove from the property to determine whether it might be mine."
"There was nothing here but ice and permafrost!"
"That's the law for you."
Clark stared at him with a sinking feeling. There were hundreds of dangerous artifacts lying around the Fortress. Lex had even made some of them. If he got so much as a glimpse at some of the more powerful ones--
"On the other hand," Lex said, "if you wanted to stay, we could come to an arrangement."
"Like what?" Clark said warily.
Lex smiled. "Rent."
"You want me to pay you rent?" Clark couldn't figure out what Lex was up to. "Fine. How much?"
Lex's smile widened. "I don't want money."
"I'm not going to do errands for you--"
Lex just kept smiling as he slowly peeled off his gloves.
Clark paused. "Oh."
Clark didn't say anything, stunned.
"I'll take that as a yes."
Clark blinked at him. "What--"
Lex kissed him. Very seriously.
"Oh," Clark said again, when Lex had stopped.
Lex smirked. "So--"
Lex wobbled back after a couple of minutes. "Oh," he said, his face surprised. It was a good look for him, Clark decided.
Some time later, with Lex asleep on the bed Clark hadn't used much before, he stretched and put his arms behind his head, grinning. This could work.