Possible warning for mutual friendly dubcon and unserious infidelity? :P
Somnambulism
by astolat
Adam didn't manage to get back to the house until around one in the morning, dizzy-exhausted and a little too drunk and stoned, and still glad he'd snuck out; Wednesdays fucking sucked. Thankfully it was Bedford on the gate. "If I open the fence, it'll get logged," he said apologetically, so Adam had to throw his jacket over the gate and jump for it to scramble over, but at least he wasn't going to get narced on. He waved goodnight to Scarlett in the car, and weaved more or less accurately across the lawn to the house.
He took his boots off in the hallway before creeping into the bedroom, and Kris didn't so much as twitch. Adam fumbled out of his clothes and crawled into the bed without bothering to find his boxers and t-shirt in the dark. Kris could deal with seeing his bare ass for thirty seconds in the morning.
He wasn't really asleep when Kris got into bed with him—he was in that weird fugue state between sleep and passed-out drunk and dreaming. It didn't seem strange at all, just unexpectedly nice, a warm body curling into his, smooth skin over muscles and soft hair to nuzzle. He cuddled Kris closer and slid his hands under Kris's shirt, kissed him and nibbled his lip a little, and Kris kissed him back and put his leg over Adam's hip and rocked into him.
Adam drifted for a while, and then he got tired of Kris's boxers rubbing up against his dick and pushed at them crankily until Kris kicked them off. Then their dicks were snugged together, and Adam drowsily wrapped his hand around them and jerked them off, Kris making small helpless eager noises into his mouth until he came. Adam finished jerking off the rest of the way. He mopped them off with Kris's boxers, and fell happily asleep.
"Uh," Kris said, the next morning.
"Morning," Adam said, yawning, and stretched, and then he woke up enough to realize Kris was in bed with him. Adam blinked at him. "This is so sudden?" he offered, puzzled.
Kris just stared at him, and then Adam realized he was kind of naked and sticky. Kris was in a t-shirt though, so—oh. Adam put down the blanket after a quick peek underneath. "Okay then!" Adam said. "At least we don't have to do the walk of shame?"
"We didn't," Kris finally managed.
"I think we kind of did," Adam said. "I'm not a hundred percent positive, I was pretty high at the time, but the evidence looks pretty good. Do you get into people's beds at night a lot?"
"I, uh, sleepwalk sometimes?" Kris said, still staring.
"Hm," Adam said. "Well, if you sleepwalk into my bed, orgasms might happen? Sorry?"
Kris said blankly, "No, I'm—I'm sorry. I didn't mean to—" He trailed off and stared down at his boxers, which were lying on the floor. Navy blue showed white stains really well.
Adam patted his shoulder. "It's okay! We just—had a little accidental friendly sex. It's not a big deal."
"It's not?" Kris said, a pathetically hopeful note in his voice.
Adam took pity on him. "No, it's really not. Happens all the time!"
Unfortunately, it happened again next Wednesday night. This time Adam was sober but completely dead to the world when Kris climbed in, and he only woke up when Kris came all over him. "Oh, excuse me!" Adam said, and Kris jerked awake and stared at him.
"I, uh, I—" Kris said, and seemed to be about to scramble out of bed.
"I don't think so!" Adam said, and pounced him onto his back. He pinned Kris's wrists to the bed with one hand and jerked off onto him with the other, his hand wet with Kris's come. Kris shut his eyes and panted and shuddered under him.
Adam flopped down next to him afterwards. "So we're clear," he said, licking his fingers, "I am absolutely fine providing you with orgasms, but I am not going to just lie back and think of WeHo!"
"I'm not—" Kris said. "I didn't mean—I'm married!" he finished, desperately.
"That is between you and your subconscious repressed lust for cock," Adam said. "Not my problem, honey."
"I've never sleepwalked into anyone else's bed," Kris said.
Adam propped himself up and glared. "Kristopher Allen, are you suggesting I am luring you over here with, what, the magic power of my dick?"
Kris's mouth twitched, helplessly. "Well, I keep hearing these stories online—" he said, and they cracked up together. Kris sat up and ran his hands through his hair, making it all stand on end. "No, I'm sorry, seriously man, I don't—this isn't—"
"Kris, I love you, I really do," Adam said, "but I'm not really up for helping you sail on down that river."
"I'm not in denial, alright?" Kris said. "I know I'm bi. I'm just not that guy! Or I wasn't that guy." He sighed.
"Okay," Adam said, mollified; he could respect that. "In that case, I'm very sorry that my incredible sexual magnetism is proving too much for your powers of resistance. I recommend a glass of wine and a Benadryl before bed."
"You think that'll work?" Kris said hopefully.
It didn't work. It did, however, keep Kris solidly asleep the entire time while he rubbed off on Adam's thigh, and since it had been Adam's idea, he didn't even feel like he was entitled to get his own this time, so afterwards he stomped into the bathroom and jerked off alone, and then he went and slept in Kris's nice clean bed.
"New plan," Adam said, in the morning. "Next week, I get the wine and Benadryl."
A week later, he woke up thick-headed and groggy to the squawking of the alarm. Kris was spooned into the curve of his body, completely limp, drooling on the pillow. His hair was sticking up in about ten directions, and there were bite marks on his neck. Adam craned his head up. There were bite marks on his ass.
Adam shut his eyes and managed to recapture a few hazy but very nice memories of snuggling up to Kris from behind and, well, shoving his cock into him and fucking him while Kris moaned a lot. There had probably been some foreplay, but apparently his drugged-out brain had focused on the really important parts.
"That was fun for you, too, right?" Adam said, warily.
Kris just smiled at him dreamily, glassy-eyed. It had taken five minutes to get him vertical in bed.
"I'm going to take that as a yes until further notice," Adam decided, and tugged Kris into the bathroom to erase the evidence before the cameras got hold of them.
In the middle of the morning song choice discussions, Kris suddenly sat up straight, blinked twice, and said, "Holy shit." Then he blushed hotly when everyone looked at him. "Uh, never mind," he said, strangled. He got Adam aside after lunch. "Okay, we have to do something."
"A lot of people find that an open marriage works for them?" Adam suggested.
"I don't want an open marriage!" Kris said. "I want a good old-fashioned normal marriage with a wife and three kids and a dog where we go to church on Sunday and go home and mow the lawn!"
Adam stared at him dubiously.
"Okay, so mostly I don't want to even try explaining this to Katy," Kris said. "But I was totally happy with that life plan before this started happening."
"You mean, before you went on American Idol to try and become a pop star?" Adam said.
"Shut up," Kris said. "The point is, how about we ask for separate rooms first."
"What are we going to tell them?" Adam said.
"We want some more space," Kris said. "We're two grown-ass guys, it doesn't have to mean anything."
"Hey guys," Matt said, walking by, "you two busy with your feud over there?" He made air quotes around feud.
"What?" they said, looking at him.
"You're in the Enquirer," Matt said. "Apparently you guys are in this huge feud because Adam leaves his nail polish lying around."
They stared at each other helplessly after he went on into the rec room. "Open marriage, huh?" Kris said, feebly.
Fortunately, they got saved at the eleventh hour, because Sunday night one of the PAs stuck her head in and said, "Hey, you guys want your own rooms? Lil's is cleared out, but you'll have to keep sharing the bathroom."
"Yes!" Kris said, instantly, and that Wednesday Adam fell into bed alone, with a little bit of a sigh—he didn't see what was wrong with mutual stress relief, really—and settled in for a nice, quiet night's sleep.
The door started rattling half an hour later. On the verge of sleep, Adam cracked an eye open and watched the doorknob slowly turn. The door swung open. Kris stood silhouetted against the hallway light. He came into the room and stood by the bed.
"Maybe close the door?" Adam suggested sleepily, after thinking the situation over very carefully.
"Okay," Kris said agreeably, and turned and went back and shut it. Then he came back to bed and climbed in.
"That's great," Adam said in the morning, yawning. "Now you do have to do the walk of shame. You should have just stayed in the room."
"Shut up," Kris said muffled, into the pillow. "My ass hurts."
"Sorry," Adam said, unrepentantly. When someone straddled your hips and ground down on your cock and bounced like you were a pony, they did not get to complain.
At least for once, they didn't have to be anywhere until lunchtime, so they both drifted off again in the sunshine coming in through the window. Adam had an amazing dream, all about floating naked in a sunlit ocean, and Kris was with him, and there was a dolphin jumping over them for a while, and then it went away and it was just him and Kris again, and they were tangled up in the water without sinking, and Adam's dick was happily bumping up against Kris's.
Adam vaguely became aware of Kris squirming against his dick, his ass sliding up and down invitingly. And really, Adam thought sleepily as he reached down and fitted himself in, there was nothing bad about this. He nuzzled Kris's hair and pushed in.
Adam started to reconsider his position when Kris showed up that night, too. "What are you doing?" Adam said groggily, as the covers got yanked off him. "It's Thursday."
"Bacon sandwich," Kris explained, which, it shortly became apparent, was sleep-language for "giving you a blowjob."
"You know we have a six am call time?" Adam said, possibly even in a whine, but how did you say no to a blowjob, so he sighed and let his head thump back into the pillows while Kris did his thing. Blowjob and then sleep! It would all be good.
Afterwards, though, Kris crawled back up him and started humping Adam's hip, which put an end to sleep. Adam finally gave up and rolled over long enough to grumpily jerk Kris off. Kris moaned and sighed and made adorable pleased noises, and Adam got into it and started biting and licking Kris's neck while he worked, and then Kris came in his hand and went comatose instantly. It took Adam half an hour to fall asleep again.
Friday night, Adam was so tired he didn't even really wake up until Kris was working onto his dick. His yelp startled Kris awake, and he lost his balance and sat down abruptly the rest of the way.
"Gah," Kris said.
"Ngh," Adam said.
After a minute, Kris paused and shifted his hips. Then he shifted them again.
"Oh my God, I refuse to encourage this any further," Adam said, and threw an arm over his face.
"You need me to—climb off?" Kris said. There was a slightly desperate tone to the request.
Adam couldn't do that, it was against his fundamental principles. He waved his free hand helplessly. Kris took it as permission and stayed on, rocking himself back and forth. Adam was pretty sure Kris fell asleep again somewhere in the middle of the whole thing. Adam almost drifted off himself, until Kris came all over him and some of it hit him in the face.
It took four layers of concealer to cover up the rings under his eyes on Saturday morning. That night, Adam locked the door.
He half-woke up with the doorknob rattling, plaintively. After a few minutes, the rattling stopped, and he relaxed. He was just drifting off again when it came back, a little louder, with a kind of scraping noise. Adam put a pillow over his head.
Abruptly, the door swung open. Kris wobbled in, naked, with a screwdriver brandished triumphantly in his hand.
Adam groaned, rolled onto his face, and smacked his own ass. "You want it, go to town."
Kris spent an hour poking around, apparently trying to figure out why Adam's cock wasn't coming out to play. Then he discovered rimming. Adam discovered that yes, he actually could get it up while he was so tired he was seeing motion trails.
Sunday he knocked over a microphone stand, broke two nails, and nearly set fire to his hair by falling asleep while using the flatiron. He locked the door and shoved the dresser in front of it. And the desk. And a chair, for good measure. Then he braced the legs with his suitcases.
"Let's see you get through that," Adam said, groggy and vindictive, when the scraping started again. The lock clicked, and the door made sad rattling noises against the dresser. It didn't budge, though.
Adam sighed in relief and rolled on his side and pillowed his face on his hands, snuggling in. Sleep, sleep, beautiful sleep. Distantly, drifting through the open balcony door, he heard Allison's mom say, "That noise from last night, I hear it again. Do you hear that? Is it in the hall?"
Adam jerked straight up in bed, wide awake. The covers tangled his legs; he fell out of the bed, scrambled in a panic to shove aside the suitcases, the chair, the desk, the dresser, and he yanked the door open. Kris tumbled into his arms—naked again—and Adam kicked the door shut just as he saw the door to Allison's room cracking open, down the hall.
Adam stood, panting and clutching Kris, heart pounding with adrenaline, his dick hard as a rock. Kris was faceplanted against him and already nuzzling along his collarbone. Adam turned him around, bent him over the desk, and fucked him wildly. Kris pillowed his head on his arms and made happy sleepy noises through the whole thing. Adam had to carry him to bed.
"Okay," Adam said the next morning. Kris was sitting up in the bed, looking rumpled and abashed and bright-eyed. Adam was standing with his back to the door, clinging to the entire pot of coffee he had gone down and stolen from the kitchen. "This has got to stop! I need some sleep before I start hallucinating, and I'm clearly just not as good at multitasking as you are!"
"I'm sorry!" Kris said. "You could tie me up?"
"You think that would end in sleeping?" Adam said. "No, baby, you need to deal with whatever is going on here, before I completely get thrown off the show on my ass Tuesday."
Kris covered his face with a pillow and groaned. "I have to talk to Katy?"
"Yes!" Adam said. "Thank you!"
Later that day, Katy popped up in the dressing room backstage where Adam was napping on a couch, marched up to him, and slapped him.
"Ow!" Adam said, jerking up and rubbing his cheek. "Excuse me, how is this my fault!"
"Oh, Kris is going to suffer a lot more than that, believe me," Katy said. "If you want to fuck my husband, you can damn well ask my permission first, and if either of you bothered to talk to me, I could've told you in two seconds he won't sleepwalk if you stick a pillow under his ankles when he goes to bed."
"Oh my God," Adam said. "You are my hero." He leaped up and caught her face in both hands and kissed her passionately. Katy went a little pink, and she said some other things, but Adam was collapsed back onto the couch and falling asleep again.
He personally took six pillows over to Kris's room that night, watched him lie down, and stuck them all along the end of the bed under Kris's feet. "Night!" Adam said, joyfully, and ran to his bedroom and flung himself into the bed, alone!
He slept the whole night through undisturbed, woke bright-eyed and was actually able to articulate lyrics in the dress rehearsal, and he figured out a way to do his eye makeup to hide the worst of the lingering shadows, and he nailed the performance if he did say so himself, and he fell into bed that night feeling victorious and gleeful.
Actually, he wouldn't have minded—
Adam determinedly shut his eyes and put himself to sleep.
And then it was Wednesday again, and oh my God did it suck, because Allison cried in her sing-off, and it was so completely unfair, and Adam hugged her and hugged her after, but eventually he had to let her go off to the press rounds, and then she was just gone. He slumped back to the house and sat miserably on the couch eating ice cream and watching the Daily Show, and he really could have used a snuggle, but Kris had still been looking guilty, and he'd slunk off to his bedroom early.
Adam sighed heavily, and then he sat up and grabbed for his phone.
"Adam Lambert!" Katy yelled. "You and Kris have been cheating on me for weeks, and now you are seriously asking me—"
"You said I should ask!" Adam yelled back, holding the phone at a safe distance.
"It wasn't meant to be an invitation!" Katy said.
"Please?" Adam said, wheedling. "You have no idea, tonight sucked so hard, and I'm so frazzled, and we have to leave first thing tomorrow and I promise no permanent damage and—"
Ten minutes of fast talking later, he bounded up the stairs to his bedroom two at a time, grabbed supplies, his bathrobe for the morning, took along a couple of toys. Then he headed over and discovered Kris's door was locked.
He banged on it, as quietly as he could—Danny was still down the hall, ugh. "Kris! Open up!" he hissed at the door.
The door didn't open, and Kris didn't answer. And Adam had no idea where to get a screwdriver, or how you used one to unlock doors, for that matter. "Okay, fine," he said, and went back to his room and cut back to essentials—no toys, no robe, only five condoms tucked into his back pocket along with the Wet. Well, maybe just the cockring.
Then he went out on the balcony—it was only a couple of feet away from Kris's, and this absolutely called for desperate measures. Kris sat up abruptly in the bed when Adam thumped down on his balcony, rubbing sleep out of his eyes. "Adam? Are you okay? What the—?" He stopped and gulped as Adam tossed the supplies onto the end table, and started shucking his clothes onto the floor. "I—Adam, I can't," he said, weakly.
"It's okay!" Adam said. "Katy said I could."
"She what?" Kris said.
"She did also say, if I break it I bought it," Adam added, "but I promised I would be careful."
Kris stared at him. "Uh. And that worked?"
"I'm pretty sure you have the most awesome wife in the world," Adam said, climbing onto the bed. He pushed Kris down flat on his back. "Now take off your clothes, baby. You're going to be wide awake for this one."
= End =
With many thanks to Cesca and Terri and giddy and Merry for beta! ♥
All feedback much appreciated! |